Guilt
I stood staring at the scales in disbelief. I was in the Doctor’s office, weighing on the same scales I’ve stood on for five years. Somehow, in four weeks’ time, I had gained 17 pounds.
I was left in the exam room to deal with my demons. “You idiot! How could you have gained that much weight that fast?” “Your fifth-grade teacher told you that you would always be fat, because you can’t control yourself!” “Remember what Coach Hobbs said? He said you loved food more than football, and that if you loved football enough, you’d shed the extra pounds.” “Remember Dr. Smith? He told you years ago that you’d better start eating right, or you would be a really heavy man someday.”
I’m really good at guilt. Person after person, and scene after scene from my past all joined in chorus in that exam room: “you’ve always been fat, and you will always be fat!”
The only thing that ended the self-shaming was when the Doctor walked into the room. “Mr. Gilbert, we’ve messed up your medication. All that weight you’ve gained has got to be from that.” By the time I removed my shoes and socks, it was evident where all that extra weight was residing: in my feet and around my ankles. Fluid retention. It could all be fixed by changing me back to the medication they had discontinued. She reassured me that all my lab reports looked good. My diabetes remains well-controlled. It was just a medication change that didn’t go as planned.
I’ll say it again: I’m really good at guilt. It’s likely that you are, too. Voices from our past, and demons we see every time we look in the mirror try to convince us that we’re no good, and we’ll never be any good. Some carry guilt for past behaviors. Some carry guilt for past failures. Some carry guilt for not living up to their potential. Yet, the stain of guilt sticks out in our souls like black ink spilled on a white garment. We’re so good at messing up, and even better at reminding ourselves of how bad we are. “If anybody really knew how bad I am…”
The Bible doesn’t hide the reality of our wrongdoings, but it does offer the rest of the story. Jesus died on a Roman cross, a righteous, sinless man giving his life to pay my penalty. I don’t have to listen to the messages from my demons. Instead, I hear the words of a loving Savior, “All is forgiven.”
We’ve been singing these words each Sunday during Lent: No guilt in Life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me.
It’s time to get off the guilt train. Fire your demons. Love your Savior. Then, you can love yourself. No guilt. No guilt. No guilt.
Welcome to worship. What we do here matters.
I stood staring at the scales in disbelief. I was in the Doctor’s office, weighing on the same scales I’ve stood on for five years. Somehow, in four weeks’ time, I had gained 17 pounds.
I was left in the exam room to deal with my demons. “You idiot! How could you have gained that much weight that fast?” “Your fifth-grade teacher told you that you would always be fat, because you can’t control yourself!” “Remember what Coach Hobbs said? He said you loved food more than football, and that if you loved football enough, you’d shed the extra pounds.” “Remember Dr. Smith? He told you years ago that you’d better start eating right, or you would be a really heavy man someday.”
I’m really good at guilt. Person after person, and scene after scene from my past all joined in chorus in that exam room: “you’ve always been fat, and you will always be fat!”
The only thing that ended the self-shaming was when the Doctor walked into the room. “Mr. Gilbert, we’ve messed up your medication. All that weight you’ve gained has got to be from that.” By the time I removed my shoes and socks, it was evident where all that extra weight was residing: in my feet and around my ankles. Fluid retention. It could all be fixed by changing me back to the medication they had discontinued. She reassured me that all my lab reports looked good. My diabetes remains well-controlled. It was just a medication change that didn’t go as planned.
I’ll say it again: I’m really good at guilt. It’s likely that you are, too. Voices from our past, and demons we see every time we look in the mirror try to convince us that we’re no good, and we’ll never be any good. Some carry guilt for past behaviors. Some carry guilt for past failures. Some carry guilt for not living up to their potential. Yet, the stain of guilt sticks out in our souls like black ink spilled on a white garment. We’re so good at messing up, and even better at reminding ourselves of how bad we are. “If anybody really knew how bad I am…”
The Bible doesn’t hide the reality of our wrongdoings, but it does offer the rest of the story. Jesus died on a Roman cross, a righteous, sinless man giving his life to pay my penalty. I don’t have to listen to the messages from my demons. Instead, I hear the words of a loving Savior, “All is forgiven.”
We’ve been singing these words each Sunday during Lent: No guilt in Life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me.
It’s time to get off the guilt train. Fire your demons. Love your Savior. Then, you can love yourself. No guilt. No guilt. No guilt.
Welcome to worship. What we do here matters.
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